by Lisa Lane Brown
Lisa, HELP! During our last tournament, communication between the setter and I shut down and I lost most of my confidence in myself. I wanted to impress the setter and the other guys. I wasn’t playing the best and the setter gave off bad body language. If I give him bad passes, he gets upset and down on me.”
Okay, this might be hard for you to hear, but I’m going to tell you for your own good.
There are THREE colossal mental mistakes you are making to kill your own sports confidence right now.
The first mistake is assuming that the problem is this other guy, the setter.
No matter how much he gives you the “stink eye”, I’ll bet it only bothers you when you’re playing poorly.
So a key underlying problem is that you were not playing well (which you need to fix, pronto – but you can only do so when you admit it’s happening and do some mental training to fix it).
The second mistake is that you were playing to IMPRESS someone else.
This is a goal NOT under your control and always leads to PRESSING in sport.
That alone will kill your confidence.
The third mistake is that you’re looking for your setter’s approval.
Now don’t misunderstand me.
It’s fine to want someone’s approval.
It’s normal and natural.
You’re a human being other people are going to affect you.
The problem is that the last time we talked, you told me you weren’t a fan of this guy.
So here’s my question: “Why is it okay for you to reject him, but not for him to reject YOU?”
Remember, if you don’t like another person, he KNOWS it. You don’t have to tell him.
He’s picking up what you’re putting down in the energy field.
And people don’t respond to us based on how wonderful we are. They respond to us based on how they feel in our presence.
So if you don’t like him, he won’t approve of you no matter how great you are.
Let me repeat: as long as you are withholding acceptance from him, he isn’t going to give it to you.
AIN’T GONNA HAPPEN.
At this point you have a choice.
You can decide to accept him, warts and all.
If you do, he’ll come ’round without you having to do anything different at. Your mental shift will create the rapport with you having to do it.
Or, you can admit you don’t like him and ACCEPT that fact and its consequences, which is that he’s never going to be too excited to share a Coke with you or cheer you on out there.
You can’t have your cake and eat it too.
The great news about this is that no matter which choice you make, you win.
Either you’ll create better rapport with him, or you won’t care about his approval any more.
The choice is yours.
The simple truth is that these types of situations happen ALL THE TIME, even to superstars…and all too often athletes end up losing because they don’t know how to handle their ‘inner game.’
I’ve discovered that the key to preventing losing is having a specific, effective re-focusing strategy for each of these situations.
Whether it is intense performance anxiety, an opponent who is shocking you…feeling flat or fatigued on the big day…and anything else that may arise.
When you have GUARANTEED, proven methods for conquering every situation you find yourself in competitively, you can literally predict your performance in big competitions.
One of the most important elements of becoming a champion is taking control of your destiny as an athlete or coach.
I’ll admit…there are some people who were destined for greatness right from the start.
But the reality is that many superstars today – including NBA basketball MVP Steve Nash – DECIDED to become superstars…and methodically set about making it a reality.
It’s crucial that you take charge of your destiny as an athlete NOW, even if you don’t have professional or Olympic aspirations.
This is your golden opportunity to learn my finest ADVANCED concepts so you can enjoy unparalleled mental toughness and breakthrough confidence.
My program is called, “The Courage to Win® in Sport 30 Day ADVANCED Home Study Program.”
It is very likely the most effective program on the planet today for winning consistently under pressure and reaching your potential as an athlete.
This audio and written program lays out my most prized ADVANCED tutorials, secrets, strategies, methods, concepts and techniques that took 14 years to piece together.
You get the advantage of learning all my best ideas from the comfort of your own home.
But: Bear in mind that the entire purpose for creating this program was to get you onto the road to winning with lightening speed.
If you’re feeling the need for speed right now, my ADVANCED 30 Day Training is the exact solution for you to boost your sports confidence and start winning today.
If you are ready to make yourself a champion, I strongly recommend you do some mental toughness training for sport. It will allow you to stay the course through the obstacles and setbacks you must forge through in order to become a true superstar, winning, champion athlete.
You can get started today simply by signing for my free Never Choke Again Mental Toughness Handbook. This Handbook reveals a 3-step strategy for overcoming nerves and performing your best so you can win under pressure.
Download it for free here:
Light it up out there,
Lisa Brown is the founder of the Courage to Win and is considered the world's leading expert on deep mental toughness for success in career, love, and sport. She has personally coached over 7,200 achievers to new heights and conducted over 1,300 live seminars on mental toughness across North America. She has been featured by major media including the New York Times and Entrepreneur Magazine, who called the Courage to Win “a straight-forward guide to success, highly recommended.”