by Lisa Lane Brown
It took me a long time to understand this, but the opposite of confidence and self-esteem is fear.
That’s why if we want to boost our confidence, we must understand fear at a deeper level.
Years ago when I was competing as an athlete, I wasn’t scoring and my anxiety was escalating.
So I did what all the self-help books said to do, which was repeat positive affirmations and visualize success.
And none of it was working.
I turned to my teammate and asked her, “What do you do to get your confidence back when you’re in a slump?”
She said, “I watch the goalie and the defense to see what they are doing to stop me. Then I change my strategy and score.”
Ouch. So simple!
Why hadn’t I thought of that?
I hadn’t thought of it because I had been programmed (by everyone in my life and all the books I read) to think that fear was a shameful, useless emotion.
Why listen to it? It was just a mistake, “False Evidence That Appear Real,” created by my weak, negative mind.
I was supposed to dismiss it – if I had any gumption.
Problem was, trying to dismiss the fear using these methods only worked 50% of the time (at best).
My teammate’s advice was so elegant and practical it gave me pause.
I thought, “What if some fears are NOT the product of a weak mind? What if some fears are legitimate? If so, no wonder I can’t manipulate myself out of them.”
The way we “see” any concept or person – our paradigm – is what shapes our reaction to it, according Dr. Stephen R. Covey.
If we think a fear is a silly, exaggerated emotional reaction, we’ll probably react to it with shame and disgust.
But if we see a fear as a legitimate response, we’ll view it differently.
Fear becomes a powerful sixth sense worth listening to, the way my teammate did.
By now you’ve probably figured out the first step towards mastering fear.
It’s telling the difference between a silly fear and a legitimate one. Most fears are created by our imagination and never to come pass; these ones fall into the “silly” category. But other fears serve as genuine warning bells and deserve our attention.
Once you have the skill of being able to tell the difference between silly vs. legitimate fears, you’re like a doctor – able to prescribe the proper solution for your fear.
You’re able to wipe out all sorts of fears – even those that have dogged you for years.
That’s why in my audio program, Secrets of Deep Mental Toughness, I teach you how to tell the difference between the two.
Armed with deep mental toughness, you’ll experience your true greatness, increase your earning power, and turbocharge your career.
The best part?
I’ve done the work for you. I’ve painstakingly created a series of five audio lessons in this program that take you through the process of mastering fear. The program even includes visualization recordings that re-program you for confidence, security, and self esteem no matter what circumstances you are facing.
Lisa Brown is the founder of the Courage to Win and is considered the world's leading expert on deep mental toughness for success in career, love, and sport. She has personally coached over 7,200 achievers to new heights and conducted over 1,300 live seminars on mental toughness across North America. She has been featured by major media including the New York Times and Entrepreneur Magazine, who called the Courage to Win “a straight-forward guide to success, highly recommended.”