building_confidence_youth_athletes

Building confidence in youth athletes seems like it should be simple. but most people (including athletes themselves) have no clue how to do it right.

And here’s the basic problem: if you don’t understand the youth athlete mindset, no amount of praise, compliments, or “pep talks” will boost this athlete’s confidence.

Years also when I was on the National team, I stumbled across a teammate sobbing in the hallway.

The coaches had just announced the team’s “taxi squad,” and my teammate was on it. The taxi squad is five players who attend games but do not play. They only play in case of injury or poor performance.

“I’m never trying out for this team again,” she said, her jaw set.

I knew she was disappointed…but the idea of giving up at the tender age of 18 made no sense to me. Most athletes hit their prime between 25-28, some later. The average age on our National Team was 26.

I told her this. Between sobs, she said, “But Shelley made it.”

Ah ha.

Shelley was 16, a phenom who became a star right out of the gate.

At 18, my teammate wasn’t quite as good as Shelley (yet). So she made the fatal error of concluding: “I’m not good enough.”

A lot of athletes make this mistake.

What mistake?

The mistake of seeing themselves as “fixed” entities. In their mind, their skills are frozen in time.

They don’t see themselves as a work in progress.

mind2We are all so conditioned for instant success these days that when we don’t get overnight success, we gradually start stepping back from the Dream.

There’s instant coffee and instant tea, so we want instant success too. As a result, we don’t invest long enough or hard enough. Maybe we don’t do quality training, or maybe we don’t do mental toughness training.

“What’s the point?” we think in the back of our mind. “I’m not good enough to be the best.”

This brings me to the 3 easy steps for building confidence in youth athletes.

1. There Is No Failure

An easy first step to building confidence is cultivating PATIENCE.

Virtually every young athlete lacks patience. When the athlete’s reality does not conform to the mental pictures she has in her mind, she is devastated.

Yet patience is very easy to cultivate when you realize there is no failure, only divine redirection.

In the words of author Chin-ning Chu: “Each failure is a progression forward within the grand framework of our inevitable, complete success.

Every disappointment, every failure, is guiding you in silence to your intended destiny. ‘Child, you are going the wrong way. This is not the path to your destiny,’ or ‘You should do it differently; your execution does not fit your talent. Polish your skills.'”

Superstar athletes have learned that there is no failure. There is only another opportunity to attain a higher degree of personal excellence.

Their supreme patience makes them the toughest, most confident competitors out there.

To cultivate PATIENCE, you start by realizing that most champions are made, not born. They create success by taking the long view. Sometimes, it’s a VERY long view.

(Want to overcome your nerves so you can perform at your best and never choke again? Download our Never Choke Again Handbook Sports Mental Toughness Handbook here.)

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Take Olympic Swedish swimmer Sarah Sjostrom, for example.

After dominating the 100-meter butterfly for seven years without earning an Olympic medal, Sjostrom emphatically ended her drought in world-record fashion at the Rio Olympics.

Sjostrom went wire-to-wire for the win, finishing in a new world record time of 55.48 seconds to become the first Swedish woman to ever win an Olympic gold medal in swimming.

Sjostrom now has six of the top seven times in the history of the event, an impressive feat considering her top four times have come outside of the now-banned supersuit era.

The Swede was favored to win gold in London but failed to reach the podium altogether, finishing in fourth place in the final.

mind5According to the Sporting News.com, Sjostrom, who burst on the Olympic scene as a 14-year-old in the 2008 Beijing Games, said: “It’s hard to believe I finally took a medal in the Olympic Games. I have been working very hard and I had a lot of ups and downs the past four years. I’m so happy I made it here.”*

Canada’s Olympic curling champ, Kevin Martin, is another textbook example that champions are made – not born.

After losing the Salt Lake Olympic final in 2002 and only winning one out of four World Championships, Martin toiled for eight years to finally be declared the best.

He was deliberate and determined.

In 2007 he put together his special Olympic rink, telling everyone that his only goal was to get in as many finals as possible so they were 100% prepared for their “do-over” at the Olympics.

“It took a long time. But the hard work was worth it,” he said after winning gold.

2. BELIEVE in Yourself

A second easy step in building confidence is believing in yourself.

Most youth athletes struggle to believe in themselves, which is why they lack confidence in the first place. And the reason athletes do not believe in themselves is this:

Athletes (unknowingly) creating self-doubt every day.

The harsh truth is that most athletes create self-doubt inside themselves on a regular basis. As the great psychologist Abraham Maslow said, the story of the human race is the story of people selling themselves short.

The Cycle of Self-Doubt

There is a simple cycle that causes athletes to unknowingly create doubt in themselves. Here is how it works:

1. You experience a failure, mistake, setback, hurt, trauma, or loss.
Maybe you come across a particularly good opponent who overwhelms you with speed and strength. Maybe you have a bad day, make mistakes, and lose. Or, maybe a coach does not give you the playing time you want. Or perhaps your Dad yells at you all the way home from your event.

2. In response to this event, you start to have doubting, negative thoughts about yourself.
You will start to have negative thoughts about yourself. They look like this:

“I can’t score.”
“If Coach doesn’t think I can do it, maybe she’s right.”
“Maybe my opponent really is better than me.”
“Look at the Chinese athletes. There’s no way I’m in their league.”

3. Your doubtful thoughts create pain in you. You will feel ashamed, anxious, angry, frustrated, and disappointed.

4. You embrace your doubting thoughts.
If you are like most human beings, you do not like pain. So, you will search for a way to avoid it. The quickest and easiest way most athletes use is to accept the worst outcome so that they cannot be disappointed, hurt, or crushed again.

We think, “What if I believe and then fail again?” or “What if try and I get rejected again?”

It actually feels safer to give up hope. “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.”

Of course, we still want to believe in ourselves and succeed. But it feels safer to buy into these negative thoughts. We naively think we can out-smart the hurt of failure.

The technical name for this mindset is pessimism, or the tendency to think the worst will happen.

The problem with pessimism is that the moment you accept a belief such as, “My golf swing sucks,” you start embracing evidence that your swing DOES suck and dismissing evidence that it does not.

If you have a bad round, you automatically blame your swing, even if you just had a great round with many excellent drives.

Of course, you are completely unaware that you are doing this. All you know is that you’ve lost confidence and belief in your swing.

A great way to break the cycle of self-doubt is to argue with your pessimism. Take the most damaging belief you’ve identified about yourself today, such as, “I can’t score goals consistently,” “My backhand sucks,” “I’m too old,” etc.

What evidence is there that this belief is FALSE?

For example, if you are a curler and you doubt that you can find draw weight in curling, you could write down the last five times that you were able to throw draw weight in a big competition.

3. Commit to Achieving Greatness

In Outliers, Malcolm Gladwell reveals why some people achieve greatness.

One undeniable factor is the 10,000 hour rule. Whether it’s Mozart, the Beatles, or Bill Gates, all extraordinary achievers put in a minimum of 10,000 hours developing their skills.

And there are no exceptions.

This doesn’t mean that talent isn’t a factor.

You must have some innate talent. Assuming a minimum base of talent, though, what takes you from good to great is how hard you work.

Gladwell says, “The people at the top don’t just work harder or much harder. They work much, much harder.”

To succeed in sport, you don’t focus on making yourself rich or famous. You don’t even focus on winning most of the time. You focus on becoming world class – an outlier – at your sport.

The Binder

When I was 18, I wanted to become the best player in the world at my sport.

I put together an elaborate binder that included:

– A 21 page essay on how I could improve my skills
– Monthly, weekly and daily fitness regimens
– Goals for shooting sessions and practices
– Mental toughness training strategies for each week

The binder was my ‘Bible’ until I was named captain of Team Canada ten years later.

Notice the dates?

By 18, I had already been practicing for ten years.

By 28, when I reached my goal, I had another ten years under my belt.

I had definitely reached the 10,000 hour mark (it often takes about ten years, but it took me twenty).

Committing to greatness is the final step to building confidence. It’s so obvious that many young athletes overlook this point.

The more greatness you attain, the more confident you become. It’s that simple.

mind3If you are ready to make yourself a champion, I strongly recommend you do some mental toughness training for sport. It will allow you to stay the course through the obstacles and setbacks you must forge through in order to become a true superstar, winning, champion athlete.

You can get started today simply by signing for my free Never Choke Again Mental Toughness Handbook. This Handbook reveals a 3-step strategy for overcoming nerves and performing your best so you can win under pressure.

Download it for free here:

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Light it up out there,
Lisa B.

Notes
*http://www.sportingnews.com/athletics/news/rio-olympics-2016-sarah-sjostrom-100-butterfly-results-medals-swimming/1u742ogjvopdz167y4nydacase

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Shannon MillerShannon Miller
Olympic Coach,
Women’s Hockey

Genuine confidence is an absolute necessity if you want to reach your potential. I’ve worked with Lisa as a personal mental toughness coach and have accessed Lisa’s talents in training teams I have coached. Lisa’s work is very effective because she delivers the training at the level the clients need…and it’s the type of training that you take with you and use on a daily basis
towards success.

Charmaine ReidCharmaine Reid,
Olympian, Badminton

I am a more focused, driven, and prepared player because of the Courage to Win®. 

Laura WarnerLaura Warner
Team Canada, Ringette

Lisa’s mental toughness online program made me a 2 time World Champion. I was ready to conquer every possible distraction in international competition. I played my best, even in the most high pressure moments.

LORI SIPPELLori Sippel
Olympian,
Women’s Softball

Have you ever heard the adage, “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it”? Well, I was broke and I knew it. I knew Lisa was the person who could help me identify the root of my downward spiral. Lisa helped me “cut to the chase” and identify those things that were holding me back from attaining the mental edge I needed. Together we created a mental plan of attack that allowed me to stay empowered regardless
of the circumstances.

SHAWNEE HARLEShawnee Harle
Basketball Head Coach
University of Calgary
Mental toughness has the athletes confront their Inner barriers and access their self-confidence. I’m a better coach today because I know how to look beyond the x’s and o’s of the game. I relate to my athletes better.

Bill TschirhartBill Tschirhart,
National Development Coach For The Canadian Curling Association 
Lisa’s on-line mental toughness programme has allowed our athletes, on an individual basis, to gain the mental toughness skills so necessary in today’s world of high performance curling. It’s a winner!

CHRISTINE PARRISChristine Parris Washington
Olympian,
Women’s Softball

After mental toughness, I am now a better player physically and mentally. I am able to apply my focus for success. The program put everything into perspective for me.

Dany Urriza
Tennis Player Tierra Del Fuego, Argentina

I am 47 years old. Since I was a kid I liked to play tennis but at that time was expensive for my parents and they couldn`t afford it. Two years ago I had the chance to start having lessons, I thought that for this kind of sport you must start when you are a kid, but I was wrong. Soon I started to play matches and now I am playing in local tournaments. I have to play to 18 years old kids sometimes, and at 47 this is very tough but I like the challenge. Today against all predictions I won a tough match and I know your book helped me do it. I was most of the time down in the score, but I won anyway 4-6, 7-6, 7-6. For the first time I was able to maintain focus in the important moments in a very long match. Thank you very much!

COREY COWPERCorey Cowper
Volleyball Coach
Lisa, you won’t believe the impact “The Courage to Win®” had on my Junior Varsity Boys High School Volleyball team (gr10-11). It seemed whenever the team was in a playoff, they just could not win. For 2 full months we worked at skills and techniques to get over that hump of not being able to win the big games. Nothing seemed to work. Here in front of me was an offer to purchase an Ebook, the exercises take only 7 days. I will be honest, I was very skeptical, but it was local to Calgary and I really did not have anything to lose, except the cost of the book! I purchased the book. In 5 minutes I walked through the visualization with them, breaking down the skill to very simple components having them see themselves performing the skill through their own eyes. In a matter of 3 weeks the team went from not being able to win when it counts to losing not being an option, and our focus the entire time was never the win, but rather playing OUR style of game. I can’t say enough about how this program has positively impacted my approach to coaching.

Frank Van LervenFrank Van Lerven
3rd Ranked Dutch 60+ Tennis Player

Lisa, I played a practise (1 ½ hr) match with a promising Swiss 14 yr old at our club. He hits the ball hard, wants to become a professional etc etc. I have played him a few times. The last time was a year ago. He beat me then. And, of course, he gets better every year. I decided to put my pre-match routine in practise, even though it was not a real match. Just to have the experience. And… I played inspired, energized from the start. I also had adopted a “winning” attude. To meet him blow-to-blow on velocity and aggression, come to the net when I could etc etc. Not to wait till he would start to make mistakes or mentally break down. It was terrific. I played well from the start. But it got to 0-3 15-40. I hang in, kept believing and the tide started to turn. By 4-4 he started to change tactics (as he could not keep up with me at the back of the court!!), throwing balls in the air and so forth. I had the upperhand. I made mistakes too but on the deciding point (a running volley) to get me to 6-6 I played the volley with confidence (visualised before). It was then time. He rather did not want to play the tie break.. I felt great and the champion was fully there. My coach saw a bit, and said, he saw a “different me” on the court. One he always had know was there!To me it felt Easter Sunday came today!!

Isabelle GysiIsabelle Gysi
Lisa thank you so much for the Courage to Win! My competition was awesome. I won!!!!!! I also did a new personal best. Now my goal is to do it again at Nationals!

MattiMatti Brannagan
Thank you very much miss Lisa for The Courage to Win® in Sport. Now I know what I need to do, I was missing a few steps. Thank you again, your answers have made my day!

HeatherHeather Rankin
Finalist,
Olympic Curling Trails

With the use of Lisa’s guidance, I have learned to manage the emotions causing the stress, and I have been successful in losing 45 lbs. I have never worked with a more intelligent, talented, inspirational, and committed professional whom you gain an immediate respect and trust for. With Lisa Brown, problems are just solutions waiting to happen.

CAL WIGSTONCal Wigston
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University of Guelph

This past March we made it to the gold medal match knocking off the previous OUA champs in 5 sets. Thanks to your candor, honesty, insight and adviceI was prepared to coach the many different personality styles my players had and be successful. You helped me understand myself this year and what I needed to do. I am way more confident in my coaching ability – thanks so much for everything you did to help me prepare for this year.

Arlene YostArlene Yost
Golfer San Luis Obispo

Lisa, thank you! My golf game is much more consistent. I am shooting 81-84 almost every time out. I am much more relaxed and able to experience my swing much more clearly. I have also begun to develop greater confidence in my short game. I am so confident I am eager to play with players who can beat me!

Stacy WilsonStacy Wilson
Olympian
Women’s Hockey

Mental toughness training gives you confidence. It’s helped me play well under pressure and cope with injuries. I think it’s essential if you want to perform to your potential. You owe it to yourself to do mental toughness training, and Lisa Brown’s work is so practical because she teaches you skills you can use right away.

Joella Bernard Joella Bernard
Finalist, USA Women’s Heavy Bodybuilding

Your information on mental toughness saved me a great deal of money. You made it so simple, be your own mental toughness coach! In the past I would wait for other people to tell me how good I was. Now I can create this confidence from the inside. My national show is at the end of the year and I know I will turn pro. Thank you!

LEAH HEPNERLeah Hepner
Figure Skating

This course is changing me. It is changing everything about my life. I have learned how human beings work…not just in sport but in life in general. I have taught my family about the things you teach me. They are mesmerized by what I read them. To understand human emotion changes the way I think and look at myself, and others around me. I am growing.

GAIL LOHMANGail Lohman
Triathlete

At my World Triathlon Championship, your words were in my head throughout the event. I kept thinking about rhythm throughout the day. When we spoke, I told you my goal was to be top 10. I finished 9th. I finished with a PR. My previous fastest time in a race of this distance was 5:47. I was hoping to go 5:45. I finished in 5:39. I am thrilled. Another exciting part is that my husband and I finished the race together. This has never happened before. Very cool that it happened in the World Championship. You really helped!

BJ YOUNGBJ Young
Men’s Wrestling

Lisa, I purchased “the courage to win” about three weeks ago. I read it thoroughly and did all the exercises numerous times. After I had a much better understanding of my anxieties and learned how to focus my energy in a positive way. I just returned from the USA high school Senior National wrestling tournament. Before your material I placed 12th in the state of NJ.I knew I was much better than that. After using your material I just placed 3rd in the country for 130lbs. senior wrestlers. Thank you so much.I will continue to use this focus for life.

Jan PulaJan Pula
Laurentian University
Varsity Curling Coach

I recently ordered The Courage to Win® in Sport ADVANCED Course and quickly absorbed Lesson 1, including the audio. The discussion on why winning is important made a significant impact on me and I shared it with my team. We participated in a bonspiel on the past weekend without having been on the ice this year yet…Our goal was to come home with a winning record having made progress on communication systems …we lost our first game – a close one — but then went on to win 7 straight and take home the Championship Flight prize! After each win we celebrated not so much the win but the satisfaction of knowing the win showed we were “evolving” and “growing” as individuals and as a team. You would have been amazed at how that shift in perception about winning and losing created a positive environment over the entire weekend. Honestly – this one lesson I learned has been worth the cost of
the program!

Michelle StiphoutMichelle Stiphout
University Basketball 

Lisa’s course was incredibly helpful. It’s odd because psychology is my favourite subject in school, but my mental game was seriously lacking. My favourite part would be doing the assignments, I find that they ensure that I’m taking in what is being taught and that I’m applying the lesson on
the court.

Anne OttoAnne Otto
I am a lawn bowler of three years and have improved dramatically since purchasing these. I have had many comments on how well I am playing. One of the men at our club told me today that he loves the way I do it. He said every time I go out, I go out to play. How good is that! I won the two bowls singles internal Club tournament, beating the girl who has “always” won it. I am loving it!

Gigi Mcmillan Gigi McMillan
Tennis Player

I Have Developed A Level Of Confidence And Calm That Rarely Leaves Me – Almost Like I Walk On The Tennis Court Wearing
Protective Clothing.

Anne ChrzanowskiAnne Chrzanowski
ASCA Level 2 Certified Coach
Thank you just doesn’t seem like enough when a person changes your life. You have made such a huge impact on me and my life and ability to help others. I signed up to be able to better help others but it was I who really needed the Courage to Win. I needed to believe in myself to help others. Thank you for inspiring and make me better. I am so grateful!

Brenda Staniforth
Coach, 1996 Canadian Olympic Women’s Softball Team

We had become so focused on the fear of failure that we lost our confidence a lot. The mental toughness training we did with Lisa was invaluable because it allowed us to turn our focus on the game itself. More than anything, Lisa’s training works because she uses a practical approach based on real experience…she even helped me become a better coach to my athletes.

Howard Brandt
Track and Field Coach

I’m a track coach and two of my athletes (a male sprinter and female hurdler) have underperformed all season. I have coached these athletes for years. I know what they are capable of! Both have medaled at Provincial high school championships, and the male is a club champion in the 200 m. Both athletes train well, but they have not been competing to their potential, losing out on medals. My female hurdler recently lost the finals in her best event, the 400 m hurdles, entirely. My male sprinter has just lacked a killer instinct during the important final phase of his specialty, the 200 m. He has even, on several occasions, appeared to concede a second placing for a third — right at the finish line. Heading into a provincial championships this past weekend, I was thrilled to read of your very generous great jock mind launch price. I bought the package on July 14 and immediately sent the link to both of the athletes. I don’t how many of the audios they listened to, but they told me that they did listen. The result? My female hurdler won her intermediate hurdles race by a good 15 m to 20 m. Had she not faced a stiff headwind she probably would have had a personal best! Happily, my male sprinter read and listened to the audio recounting Michael Johnson’s experience of being in lane eight. Because of an administrative error, my sprinter did NOT get his proper lane assignment. He ended up with lane eight (the worst lane) in the 200 m! This was very bad news indeed. I spent a moment with him before his race and he said, “You have to work with the hand you are dealt.” He turned a disadvantage to advantage! He ran the race of his season, moving blind around the curve into a headwind (that narrowly denied him a personal best), finishing second, beating the friend who’d stolen the previous two races from him. Not a person of many words, he perfectly summed up my feelings about your work Lisa: “That lady is good.” Thanks for Secrets of the
Great Jock Mind.

Todd Sader
Elite Gymnastics Coach

Lisa thank you for giving ME the right focus for a coach – and that is being positive and patient while we work on our skill development even if it means re-teaching something I have already taught them. Sometimes an athlete will lose confidence in themselves, and lose a skill, it is our job as coaches to find ways to help them regain their confidence and belief in what they are able to do. You gave me just the tools I needed to get my athletes to overcome their fears.

Jennifer Blakenship
Lisa you helped me through a recent Karate competition. I have been above average and even had some moments of triumph and learned something hew from each situation – the new way you are discussing is great! Quite frankly I’ve also take that same mentality as I search for a job right now.

Damien Keaney
Ten years ago I started working with Lisa as a Gaelic Football player. My ability to focus and play consistently under Lisa was impressive. I always wondered why I would have one good game and then perhaps not so good. The same would even happen during a half of a game – one good and one not so good. Getting focused was life changing for me. I performed consistently and to the best of my ability using Lisa’s right focus process. I completed all of Lisa’s performance programs and enjoyed every last detail. After I finished playing I was keen to learn more from Lisa and signed up for her coaching program. I was amazed how she helped me help others. I was a manager / coach with a few teams over the following years. I developed an ability to identify players who like myself were not consistently at their best. I was able to help them and allow them the opportunity to be their best and enjoy playing. Taking the pressure off the player and making aspects of the game totally in the persons control a ‘win’ for them was something Lisa really taught me. I am now successfully manager of another team and still use the skills Lisa empowered me with.
Thank you Lisa.


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7 years ago

Hello-

I have an athletic 7 yr old daughter who gets in her own way with negativity. With this aid her?

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