Practical Considerations for Getting Rich, Fast-tracked, or Promoted

Dear Friend,

       There is a dirty little secret about money and career success that most speakers don't talk about.

       It's this: while everyone knows that goals are central to making money and getting promoted, hardly anyone bothers to set them. Most people say this is because they fear failure.

       Yes, I believe the fear of failure is a factor, but there is another major reason we avoid goals.

       It's called lack of self-assertiveness, which is the same as feeling unworthy of extraordinary achievements.  Most of us grew up believing that other people's desires are more important than ours. It can be frightening to assert our needs when they contradict what parents, spouses, or authority figures have in mind for us.

Wendy
Wendy has been aborting her career ambitions as far back as high school:

       "I finished my Grade 12 and went on to university. I would wanted a year off, but, unfortunately, my grant was for the upcoming year-- and for the local college rather than the 'real' university I'd had my heart set on for so long.

       Dad wanted me close to home. He made it clear that that was where I would go. I even didn't apply anywhere else. I ended up taking courses I didn't need, from professors I didn't respect, in a place I didn't want to be. I skipped lessons, missed exams, and procrastinated on assignments.

       I eventually flunked out, and was too humiliated to tell anyone. I carried the shame of this failure around for years.

       It never occurred to me until recently that the fact that I never wanted to go to that college played a role in my poor grades."

       Most people are guilty of not taking their career desires seriously enough.

       They say things like, "My job doesn't matter to me. I'm just going to get a job that pays the bills." Then they spend 8 hours a day doing things they don't want to do.

       Or, they convince themselves that money doesn't matter, and avoid the issue altogether.

       Self-assertiveness, honoring your wants and needs by expressing them appropriately in your life, is the basis for commitment to goals.

       Simply put: To have the kind of passion in life that fires your imagination, you first need to believe that you matter.  When you believe that you matter, you don't need to force the goal-setting process. Your goals come to you spontaneously, and fill you with energy.

       Here is a simple, practical exercise to increase your self-assertiveness.

       Write the following sentence on a blank piece of paper, and force yourself to come up with 5 different endings for it:

       If I were 5% more self-assertive today--*

       Repeat this exercise every day for a week. You'll notice that gradually, you will start to feel more deserving of good things in life...without trying to feel this way at all.

I'll talk to you again soon.

Your friend,
Lisa B.

*Nathaniel Branden, The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem, Bantam, 1994.