Are You Narcissistic?
Dear Friend,
Are you a tiny bit narcissistic?
In Greek mythology, Narcissus was a hero
renowned for his beauty. Narcissus
was cursed by Echo, who prayed that he would
'love no one but himself.'
When Narcissus looked in the lake and saw his
stunning features in the reflection, he finally
realized all the pain he had put women
through over his beauty.
Narcissus knelt over the water and dived in,
unintentionally drowning himself.
Let's face it: we are all a tiny bit narcissistic.
This is because narcissism is caused
by lack of empathy--our inability to imagine another's
feelings. Lack of empathy is normal. We all struggle
to relate to the fears and joys of others
in an emotional way.
The extroverted narcissist
Your narcissism might be the extraverted kind,
where you crave the spotlight in conversation,
dominate relationships with your preferences,
and are uncomfortable when others become emotional.
When you are an extraverted narcissist,
it is hard for you to nurture people,
because you do not relate to their feelings very well.
This tends to be the male version of narcissism
(although females exhibit it too).
The introverted narcissist
Or, your narcissism might be the introverted kind,
where you are exquisitely sensitive to rejection and
assume peoples' actions are about you.
You are easily hurt and prone to shyness.
When you are an introverted narcissist,
it is difficult for you to accept others,
because you feel hurt by them often. You feel victimized
and self-righteous much of the time. This tends to be
the female version of narcissism
(although males exhibit it too).
In both types of narcissism, you lack empathy.
Since you do not understand the inner emotional life
of these people, you unconsciously view them
as extensions of you. They are not separate
individuals with needs and motives of their own.
What Top Performers Do
Top performers use empathy to succeed in
leadership, marriage, friendship, sales, and parenting.
Top performance practice imagining the feelings of others.
They develop an affinity for all people;
others sense their goodwill and trust them instinctively.
When faced with a person who is upset, top performers
understand the other person's anger, fear, or sadness.
They have compassion for the pain of the other person,
even if they have caused it.
When another person confronts them,
they do not try to win the argument. Instead, they ask themselves, "What does this person
want that he is not getting?"
They then strive to give him what he wants,
provided the request is reasonable.
I'll talk to you again soon.
Your friend,
Lisa B.
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